Single Girl in a New Town

So far, it's not as great as it sounds.

First things first. I credit the title to Dan Savage. But maybe he got it from somewhere.

A week ago was the first full day in my very first apartment.

I felt like I never really grew up living in dorms my whole college career, a 5-20 minute walk from my parents' house (depending on the dorm). I had the faculty-dependent fee waiver and the freedom of dorm life but not the responsibility of bills. I still don't feel grown up. I wonder when I will. My mom said she only felt grown up once she had kids, and those who never had kids (or were never instrumental in a child's development) never grew up. I'm not sure that I want kids. Barring any "accidents," I'll figure that out once I get my PhD.

Here I am, sitting in Dunn Bro's as I have every day for the past eight days. My internet was supposed to be set up today (between 9 and 1). After sitting around my house for 4 hours, I finally called Comcast. They told me my order didn't process because my social security number didn't match my name. Apparently someone typed it in wrong. When they get my name right (even Cornell can't get my name right) they mess up my social. That's Murphy's Law for you. No one called or e-mailed to cancel my appointment. What kind of customer service is that? I should at least get a discount. Lesson learned: check your appointments.

I keep, as my sister K said "complaining on facebook that I have no friends." I can't decide if I am being ironic or pathetic. I have learned some things about myself in the past week:

-Though starved for social interaction, I am still afraid of strangers.

-I find it more difficult than freeing to go to bed by myself and wake up in an empty apartment. I think living with other humans must be an essentially human characteristic. What do you think?

What I need, but lack, is patience. I remain choosy about my friends. I miss having close friends I could call at a moment's notice and arrange to hang out. I am starting from nothing. How does one make friends with strangers? Any ideas? I tried going swing dancing last week (from a schedule I found online), but when I got there, there were only two cars in the parking lot and the first, and what seemed like the main door was locked. One of the cars had both its inside and outside lights on. Were they hotboxing, or having sex? Whatever they were doing I didn't want to disturb them and consequently I was afraid to investigate further possible doors. All dolled up and nowhere to go, I turned around and headed home. I thought about going to the bar (which was on my walk back) my cousin CL keeps laughingly mentioning to see what makes it so unique. But somehow the idea of going to a bar, a movie, or a sit-down restaurant alone (all things I have never done) seems like it would only remind me of all the times I have done those things with friends and family, and thus make me all the more conscious of the difference between then and now, instead of cheering me up.